Welcome to the Attic! Here's all the stuff that's absolutely no good or is just plain dead. We just keep it up here to make the site look bigger than it really is.

Tito Quotes: Some of the things Tito said during his junior year - barely entertaining.

Fortune Cookies: A compilation of the messages Tito has found on fortune cookies thus far.

Opening for Tito's Girlfriend: Tito gets his mack on? He wishes. Here's what some of the hot ladies in the fan club had to say about everyone's favorite Mack Attack...

Report Card I and II: A dull account of Tito's grades during the fall and spring semesters of the 2002-2003 school year.

The Guidians: The constitution for a Hitchhiker's Guide club that Tito never managed to get started.

The Schemers: A dictionary of terms developed from the multiple adventures of the Schemers, a small organization in band which had multiple crazy antics.

Strong Bad E-mail Goodies: This section got accidentally deleted in the move to asimweb.org, or one of the great restructurings, or something. This isn't even the most updated version. I salvaged it off of the old computer in my house. It was going to be a place to record all of the hidden Easter eggs in the e-mails of Strong Bad from Homestarrunner.com. Alas.

Scholars' Bowl: Some random stats from scholars' bowl practices in Tito's junior year of high school.

Tito Sightings: Have you seen a Tito look-alike or poser? If so, here's where you can report your sighting and see some other Titos that have been found in the past.

Book Reviews/Bogan's Reviews: Plot summaries of some books Tito's read along with short commentary and grades. Precursor to [Very] Critical Reviews.

The Laws of Tito: A look into the infallible wisdom inspired by Tito's life experiences. Very dead section.

Flashing Pants, Inc.: Tito + video camera + LEGOs + lots of spare time = Flashing Pants, Inc. Includes commentary. Maybe bad enough to take out of the Attic and delete.

Dear Puaolena: A tenth grade English assignment gone ALL wrong. Actually not that funny.

Somebody Else's Problem: A tribute to one of the greatest inventions present in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, written in tenth grade English class.

AIM Conversations: Back in the Attic, this section chronicles some conversations Tito has had on the AOL Instant Messenger communication system.