The Schemers
The Schemers are an association that was started by Jessica H., Kimi B., and Tito during the 2001 marching season. Their purpose is to think up really funny schemes and plots and to pull them off without getting in trouble. They also like to take pictures of themselves doing silly things.
Schemers Specs
Period of operation: Two years.
Size: Five people (four guys, one girl).
Club motto: "Live long, play hard, scheme forever."
Club mascot: Gypsy moth.
Schemers Glossary
42 Squared: incident where Rob M. had 42 people logged onto AIM for 42 straight minutes
Associate: anyone whom the Schemers deem as worthy to be their friend
Bald Man: superhero character created in the 2002 concert season by Kenneth J. as part of the Picture of the Week series; greatly expanded on during the 2002 marching season
Band Hate Day: yearly event on October 4 which serves as a reminder of the 2002 homecoming game, where people were made to stand up most of the game, no third-quarter break was given, and “Cheer Tunes” was played incessantly
Best in Class Schemers Award: award given to Kenneth J., Kimi Blankenship, Jessica H., and Julia M. at the 2001 Vanderbilt marching competition honoring the Schemers as the best Schemer team in their class
Bus 1: the “senior” bus during the 2002 marching season that was characterized by loud singing and chanting after away games
The Cameron: dance started by Cameron B. and popularized by Kenneth J. at the 2002 Decatur away game in which one’s elbows are thrown at opposite beats from each other
“Cheer Tunes”: the triplet of songs played too often during the 2002 marching season; ritualistically ripped up during the 2002 homecoming game vs. John Carroll
Cool Fool Productions: production company that produces the weekly edited images that have become a tradition in the band hall; president is Kenneth J.; most famous work is the Bald Man series
George: name of Kenneth J.'s little wire trumpet from Brazil
(Ghetto) Best in Class Schemers Award: award given to Kenneth J., Kimi B., and Jonathon P. at the 2002 MTSU marching competition honoring the Schemers as the best Schemer team in their class; two other copies later given to Cameron B. and to Zach L.
Ghetto-chess: chess board made by Mike V. and Kenneth J. out of cardboard and paper during a practiceless band period; characterized by trashy appearance and the word “Ghetto-chess” inscribed in Sharpee on the bottom
Gypsy moth: official mascot of the Schemers; believed to have flown in and out of a bus on a band trip during the 2001-2002 school year
“The H’s Song”: Kenneth J. original song that modifies the Mack Song; repeatedly says the word “H’s” (pronounced “aychez”), each line branching off into more parts, then ends with a unison “The B”
“Hey…!”: phrase used by Kimi B. and Kenneth J. that is said with a slowly falling voice-tone while thrusting one’s pelvis; turned first into a Bus 1 tradition, then into a band-wide phenomenon
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: book fanatically promoted by Kenneth J. as the best book ever written; also known as “The Guide”
“I Hate Tito Crack”: Daniel J. original song that modifies the unofficial Tito Crack theme song into a derogatory song aimed at lowering Tito’s self-esteem
“I'm a person...we're people!”: Thorntonism used during a speech before morning practice during the 2002 marching season
“The Mack Song”: Kenneth J. original song that repeatedly says the word “mack,” each line branching off into more parts, then ends with a unison “bong”
Matrix High Five: high five style originated by Cameron B. and Kenneth J. that involves quick movement until the climax of the high five is reached, when slow-motion acting occurs until the end of the climax, when a quick downward swing of the hand is performed
The Michael: dance started by Michael K. during the 2001 marching season and popularized by Jessica H. in which both pointer fingers are extended upwards and bobbed up and down
The Mother: name for Aaron A.’s little pink plastic trumpet
The Mother of All Trumpet Challenges: event in which the top four trumpets all challenged each other at once, which Tito won
Mountain Dew: also known as “The Dew”; the drink praised by many as the best-tasting liquid on Earth
“The Official Tito Crack Theme Song”: Nathan O. original song written during the Tampa trip that is acknowledged as the official Tito Crack theme song
Picture of the Week: early predecessor of Cool Fool Productions, during the 2001-2002 school year, where Kenneth J. would make fun of someone new each week, normally a football coach
Quiet Crusade: inspired by a hunt for Julia M. by Kenneth J. and Cameron B. during a rainy home football game during the 2002 marching season; event where participants act like Christian crusaders and invade an imaginary Holy Land, often returning with goods, fame, and really big smiles
The Queen: name for Michael B., trumpet player, appointed by Kimi Blankenship in 2002 due to his large ego
The Schemers: organization originally founded by Jessica H., Kimi B., and Kenneth J. in 2001 in order to do devious things and be sneaky; gained three new members during the 2002 marching season
“Smack it like a mother!”: phrase written on Kenneth J.’s copy of the fight song during the 2002 marching season that was copied and distributed to all the trumpets, becoming a trumpet slogan overnight
Thorntonism: any phrase or word used by Mr. Thornton
Tito Surprise: term which refers to Tito hiding in a cake with only a Speedo on and jumping out to surprise shocked birthday party attendants
Tito’s Law of Opposites: If Thornton predicts something, the opposite will probably happen.
“What do you think you’re doing?”: phrase used by Mr. Anderson to chastise Jessica H. and Kimi B. for using Twizzlers and duct tape to make red senior bands for their uniforms during a 2001 football game
The Worst Party Ever: birthday party attended by Cameron B. and Kenneth J. that turned out to be the dullest and stupidest birthday party ever attended by either
“The Yeah Song with Tito Crack References”: Daniel J. original song that is known as the unofficial Tito Crack theme song, and ends with a heart-felt “yeah” and quick extension of one’s right arm
Yo Maha: phrase written on the tag connected to Kimi B.’s saxophone after it was repaired by Hallman’s Music
“You are the game!”: Thorntonism used during a speech before morning practice during the 2002 marching season
“You're gonna mess up your ombescure something fierce!”: Thorntonism used during a morning practice during the 2002 marching season when people started switching horns; later yelled by Tito whenever he saw someone playing an instrument not native to them, accompanied by grabbing the horn from their hands and running away with it
The dusty old Attic beckons...