The Sketchbook of Tito Crack, Gentleman

Here's pretty much all Tito's writings, drawings, and various website productions. In essence, these are all of his non-poetic, non-altered image works.

School Projects

Ninja Physics: Some poster Tito spent four hours working on for an extra credit assignment on a physics test in eleventh grade. Awesome.

The Stranger Project: In AP English during Tito's final semester of high school, he had to do a book report on a book of his choice from a list. For some reason, he chose Albert Camus's The Stranger. The project involved making a cover for the book. So he did. Here is the picture on the front, book theme and summary, reviewer's (Tito's) commentary, and the reviews of others (also an inverted version.) For some reason my computer automatically shrinks the pictures when I open them, so if yours also does this, you'll have to manually bring it back to full size.

The Campaign to Elect Tito Crack as Senior Class Secretary

Creepy Flyer / Come On / Coming South / End of Earth / Helping Hand / Stick Guy: These six flyers single-handedly made Tito's campaign to become secretary of his senior high school class an even longer shot than it had previously been. Cameron liked Stick Guy a lot.

Cheerleader Shirt Flyer: The day before the vote to elect Tito Crack as secretary of his upcoming senior class, Tito printed out a bunch of these pictures and got people to tape them to their shirts, and I think he put some in the hallways as well. I think it helped get his name to all the people who weren't paying attention during the campaign speeches.

Goth Shirt: As a promotional gag for Tito's campaign for senior class secretary, Tito dressed in all black one day and pinned this image to the front of his shirt. It got a lot of laughs, though probably not any new votes.

New Goth Shirt: Another version of the goth shirt. I think this is the one that I actually wore.


The Attractivity Theory: A stimulating treatise on the causes and effects of dating, methodically laid out in the classic fashion.

Discursion on the Alien Trilogy: Previously a miscellaneous Critical Review, this article now resides in the Sketchbook, which seems more appropriate for this examination of the pros and cons of the movies in the Aliens trilogy. A must-read for all Sigourney Weaver fans (all two of them).

Valentine's Day Idea: A little piece I wrote for another website. Applicable to any February 14th.

Fred: A very short story involving Fred, a normal man who stumbles upon a bit of luck...

The Pope Versus the Antipope: Sure to be a classic, this story relates how the pope and the antipope hade a contest to decide who was the best. Who wins control of the spiritual and physical well-being of the entire civilized world? You'll have to read to the end to see how it turned out...

The Swiss Manifesto/Switzerland Takes Over: Quite possibly one of the most imaginative and unrealistic pieces of litter that Tito has produced in his writing career. Published sometime during the first semester of the junior year, this is truly a masterpiece.

The Bachelor Avocado: A spoof on The Communist Manifesto by Frederick Engels and Karl Marx which explains the ongoing struggle between the Couple and the Bachelor. Sure to spark revolution among 8.3% of the two people who end up reading it.

Awesome Lost: The creation account of Genesis, rewritten as a piece of Bachelorism dogma.

The Glass Question: A proof disproving the existance of glasses neither completely full or empty. BOGUS!

Life: The play Tito wrote in Ms. Tarter's class that has already been acclaimed by Tarter herself and is awaiting praise from other accredited dramatic critics. Yet to be awarded any prizes for drama despite being the best thing written since Shakespeare.


Teen Girl Squad: Cameron and I got together to produce this gem. It's a little (OK, a lot) hard to follow if you didn't hang out with us for those two years during which we got the material.

Tito: Man on a Mission: What if an action movie could be summarized in eighteen panels? It'd probably be better than this comic, which does just that.

Emo Takes Over Washington: On the way to D.C. during choir tour two years ago, Cameron and I drew this comic. You can tell when he's drawing and when I'm drawing. It's obviously different. Plus, none of it makes sense any more. I think it was more craziness than actual fact.

Auburn: The Wonder Years I: Cameron and I drew this comic one night in my dorm kitchen while eating some Great Value-brand Rice-a-Roni. Don't worry if it doesn't make any sense to you - eventually, none of it will make any sense to us either. (See Emo Takes Over Washington above.)

Ninja vs. Pirates: This was a comic that I transformed into a flip book by cutting the frames apart and stapling them together. I don't even know what to think of it any more.


Threat to the Br-awfuls: Those conniving Br-awful Catholics had better show up to the last Methodist prayer breakfast of the year! Or else...or else...or else!

The Last Supper: Tito found a bucket of chalk on a mission trip and recreated this da Vinci masterpiece from memory. Isn't it an incredible likeness?

Mona Lisa Happy: A year after his successful Last Supper recreation, Tito returned to the parking lots of Birmingham to create this alternate universe masterpiece. What if?

Ninjaman and the Integral: Was Tito supposed to be working calculus problems on this miniature dry erase board instead of drawing the linked-to picture? The answer is yes.

Ninjaman, Great and Terrible: More like "great and terribly drawn".

Punched So Hard: Yet another classic from the Ninjaman series. I wonder if this is even possible to do.

M*A*S*H, Two Drawings: Black and white and the color version.

A Kid Drawing: All it says at the top of this page is "Draw a picture of you." What was I thinking at age whenever this was? Did I really look that horrid?

Some Kind of Bird: My guess is that this is a drawing of a bird I did when I was very young. This picture shows the beginnings of my awful artistic abilities.

Four Trees (1 2 3 4): Here are four different types of trees I drew sometime during middle school. I think the fourth one is supposed to be from Whoville, but I'm not sure.

The System is Down: A long time ago I made this graph, inspired by the music video of the same name. It's pretty good, I think. The graph, that is.

A Couple of Celts: I summed up an entire civilization in this one portrait of a Celtic couple. I guess all of them had green hair and were abnormally slender.

George the...Title: I got bored during a meeting for the presidents of all the student organizations at my campus and started doodling on the top of a sheet they gave us. At least the meeting gave me time to create this update-worthy picture.

The Bus Plan: During my senior year of high school, I came up with this crazy idea to transform a school bus into a motor home and live in it during college. I still haven't brought this dream to fruition, but it is definitely something I plan on doing before I die.

The War on Magnetism: I don't even remember what most of the things in this picture represent. I think it was just the result of too much AP Physics.

Devastating Magnetism: Magnetism and I really didn't get along very well in high school.

The Gaussian Juggernaut: So it all started when I constructed a Gaussian surface around the four things in the middle. Quickly the new creature developed sentience and grew an engine and guns (or cigarettes) with which to take over the entire magnetic universe. Fear its might!

Alessandro Volta: I think I would have punched this guy in the face if he had grown up in my high school. Look how cocky he is being with that capital V sweater and his knowledge of energy!

Striped Torpedo Fish: A picture I made for some middle school science class. These two fish are eating two other fish, and one of them is laying eggs at the same time. Talk about multitasking!

Get on the Soul Train: A work of art done in colored pencil in 11th grade history class as a recruiting poster for the American Railway Union. A collaboration with a fellow classmate named Linc.

Game Over, Man!: I think we were talking about Aliens or something in scholars' bowl that day, but somehow I came up with this picture, a tiny masterpiece on one of the scoresheets. By the way, Paxton is supposed to be riding a shark as a meteor crashes into the earth, if you couldn't figure out what was going on.

Columbus Crossing the Atlantic: This is exactly what it looked like.

Farmer Joe: I would like to meet Farmer Joe some day, because my guess is he would say things like, "Just ain't no decency any mores." What that means (or whether "mores" is a word or not) is anyone's guess.

Weird Pig: ...what? From Spanish I in ninth grade.

El Monstruo de el Gueto: Another Spanish I favorite. Myself and an acquaintance in the class had to draw a monster and label its body parts. Ours was "The Monster of the Ghetto." Wow, my drawings sure were crazy back in that day. I like the random labelling of "The Taco" and the Taco Bell sign in the background.

The AP Physics C Exam: I drew this on the electricity and magnetism portion of the test the drawing is named after. I'm not sure if it earned me any partial credit, but it definitely made me feel better deep down inside.

A Demonstration of Stupidity: Seriously. What a waste of time and money.

The Duck Businessman: Quack quack!


Catolicos Locos, Inc.: A website all in Spanish for one of Tito's Spanish III projects. Slated to win an Oscar in the year 2014.

T.I.T.O.: The Tito Institute for Tarter Observation: Tito designed this website to house his collections of quotes from his favorite teacher of all time, Ms. Tarter, whom a fellow teacher described as "delightfully witty, cynical..." See what all the talk is about! Maybe even add your own studies to this work!