This story is thanks to a conversation with David G. in history class about Swiss neutrality and to the Swiss people for being neutral all the time.

In the beginning, there was Switzerland. Tiny, "neutral" Switzerland. Switzerland had been neutral in every major war throughout history, and was a peaceful, pacifist society. They had been accredited with physicists, Swiss army knives, and excellent skiing resorts. It was in no way militaristic or expansionist.

Or so we thought.

The belief that Switzerland was a nation full of pacifist bankers who sat in stuffy old banks twiddling their thumbs all day long was a lie spread by the Swiss intelligence agency. Swiss citizens were required to put on a show to all tourists, foreign emissaries and ambassadors, and possible spies to show that they were a loving people who just wanted a nice, quiet place to read a book. Every citizen was required in Switzerland to do military duty from age 20 to age 42, and kept their issued weapon in their household. This practice had been going on openly for a long time. The bundespräsidentin or president of the nation was secretly planning with the Bundesrat, the Swiss equivalent of the American Cabinet, to build up the nation’s military might into a world contender. The Swiss government was bored and tired of being known as the neutral country in every war ever.

In order to compensate for Switzerland’s lack of military factories, they made the European Union and NATO sign agreements that Switzerland would receive small amounts of weapons, ammunition, and technology each year in exchange for Switzerland’s agreement to continue open trade with the world and use of their banks as an economical center for Europe. Both organizations quickly agreed, as Swiss banks controlled large chunks of their economies. To cover up any suspicion of aggressive motives behind these requests, the Swiss government claimed that they “needed a larger military to protect the economical interests of the world.” Not even the signing of the Munich Pact before World War II, in which France and Great Britain peaceably handed over Czechoslovakia to Germany, was as stupid a thing for the powers of the world to do. The buildup of the “Swiss Fist,” as history books later called the newly-upgraded Swiss military, was beginning.

Slowly, the nations of the EU and NATO forgot about their agreements because of “more important” events going on world-wide. “Regular shipment of weapons to Switzerland” was now a phrase not heard or spoken by executive chiefs, military ministers, and had even been forgotten the man who watched CNN in his living room all day long for lack of anything better to do. In fact, the only people outside of Switzerland who knew what the phrase meant were the men who loaded the trucks and planes with munitions that constantly poured into Switzerland. These men knew a few other phrases too, but most of them are unprintable, and were directed at their employers who underpaid them.

Switzerland, unbeknownst to the rest of the world, had also been talking with Iraq, who would help them in the massive world takeover that they were planning. Since Switzerland was part of no alliance, it was not in diplomatic correspondence with any of the nations that would discourage such meetings and was able to keep it secret. With the support of Iraq, Switzerland would be able to create chaos in multiple places at once, and thus throw their enemies into utter confusion.

The day was January 24, 2023. The Swiss Fist had now been developing for twenty years. On that night, Swiss bombers flew over Austria, tanks rolled over the border, and troops marched in defiantly. The Austrian army was no match for the arm of the Swiss military. Within three days, all of Austria’s territory was occupied by Swiss troops. The world was aghast at the sudden outbreak of Swiss aggression, but Iraq was not. Iraq swiftly conquered the entire Middle East in a week, staying true to the secret alliance that it had forged with Switzerland. Suddenly, the world panicked, as its largest oil supply had been instantly taken away from it. Americans made a run on the gas stations, filling up all their cars’ tanks and any other gasoline container they could find. The price of gasoline quadrupled in the United States within three days of complete Iraqi control of the Middle East.

Switzerland and Iraq used the oil from the Middle East to fuel tanks and aircraft that they had been building. After taking Austria, Switzerland stormed into Hungary and the Balkan states, and Iraq drove down through northern Africa. European nations such as France and Germany began bombing now-Swiss territory all over the continent. Luckily for Iraq, warring terrorist groups in Africa launched a major rebellion against their instituted governments, and signed on with the Iraqi takeover of Africa so that they would be on the winning side. Meanwhile, Switzerland had taken Italy, including the Vatican. After capturing the pope, who was unable to flee in time, Switzerland issued a warning to all Catholics across the world that if their nations tried to stop Switzerland than the pope and many Catholic relics in the Vatican would be terminated. Fearing for the life of the pope, the Church pleaded world-wide for a coming to terms with the Swiss.

The Swiss used their new-found power over a large portion of the European population to ensure minimum resistance as they took over Spain, France, Great Britain, Ireland, Portugal, Belgium, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, and Germany. Most Catholics simply refused to fight rather than risk their sacred artifacts. UN special task forces attempted to recover the Vatican a few times, but Swiss troops heavily guarded the area, so recovery was impossible. Switzerland made a pact with Russia and China to ensure that they would not go against the Swiss as long as Switzerland did not take over lands that China and Russia had long wanted, such as Mongolia and Eastern Europe.

Switzerland, however, had been planning the entire time to traitor its allies. Once all of Eurasia and Africa had been taken by Switzerland, China, Russia, and Iraq, Switzerland stabbed them all in the back and used a blitzkrieg to take over all three continents. Along with this, they took over the Pacific, Japan, and Australia. Now all that was left was South and North America. Since South America was made up of mostly third-world countries that were in constant revolt anyway, Switzerland easily took the entire continent, along with the Caribbean and Central America. Mexico, the United States, and Canada banded together to form the United Nations of North America, and sent messages to the Swiss headquarters in Bern asking for peace. The Swiss government scoffed at these messages and began to charge into North America. The official correspondence from the UNNA was rumored to have been used for a doormat.

Mexico was a huge struggle, as American troops fought long and hard against the Swiss army. Eventually, the huge waves of Swiss infantry were too much for the U.S. military, and Mexico was taken. Swiss bombers attacked bases all across the United States, wiping out what military forces were left. A month later, the Fist had reached the Northwest Territories and Alaska. The flag of Switzerland flew on all flagpoles across the world, making the Swiss reign over the world official. On March 28, 2025, on a world-wide television broadcast, the Swiss president declared himself “Big Cheese of the World” while fittingly holding a piece of Swiss cheese.

Very little resistance occurs in the world today, as the Swiss government watches everything that goes on. Police patrol every street, and cameras are places in every building, residential, commercial, and government alike. A few military uprisings occurred directly after Swiss rule became complete, but they were swiftly crushed. Bern, Switzerland became the new capital of the world. The International Space Station was made into an orbital nuclear-missile silo for swatting any revolutionary flies. Incredibly, the Vatican was restored to its former status, only it too was occupied by troops year-round. The pope is not allowed to speak out against anything that the Swiss government does.

Papers like the one that you hold in your hands are illegal right now. Maybe through the secret spreading of this literature an eventual overthrow of the government will occur. I hope that the world has learned an important lesson through all of this. Don’t ever trust a nation that claims to be all stuffy, boring, pacifist bankers. People from all nationalities will have a long time to ponder why they did so.