The original logo.
Logo, tele-type style.
Another year gone by. Many changes have been made around the site, most of them good ones. Half of the updates in the (Un)important Archive are from the past year, showing either a tremendous change in pace or more frequent filler postings. What Shall We Wear? got started, then moved to the [Very] Critical Reviews. Other regroupings were made, including the not-awaited development of the Cool Fool Productions section. Unspun Fun was born, stank, and somehow survived. Tito delved even deeper into the wastebasket of previous, never-before-seen, almost-forgotten works he found in his closet in a campaign to avoid making anything new. Critical Reviews became longer and started to feature more badly Paint-edited pictures. The Attic was trashed for good, making the site about half of its previous size. The logo changed; twice, I think.
Logo, tele-type style.
Unsurprisingly, Tito's World was awarded many honors. Just this January, President Bush used a wish on a shooting star to give the President's Internet Award to Tito, bypassing congressional approval. In fact, just in time for the writing of this piece, I received in the mail a letter announcing that Tito's World has been given "a complete range of Trophies and Awards" in recognition of its standard-setting over the past three years. Somehow they got a picture of my face and stuck it on the certificate of commendation. The packages are supposed to arrive any moment now.
The critics weren't the only ones impressed with the materials we've been putting out. The general populace was also amazed that such trash was published to the World Wide Web. Statistics*^ show that our viewership went up at an alarming rate this year. Sirens were sounded when this data was released in order to warn people that Titomania will soon sweep the nation, engulfing all former media endevours into one 24-hour Titofest of entertainment. TV, radio, films, the Internet, books, magazines, newspapers, and maybe even the postal mail system will shut down so that no one will be distracted from this website. It's quite possible that I'll have to quit my studenthood just to keep up with the demand for appearances and creative works.
In other news, the Kremlin sent this nice little postcard in the mail to wish us well in our future attempts at humor. I think it is written in Cyrillic and says "Happy New Year!", but you never know with those Russians. Apparently my dead snail Matisse has gone to Snail Heaven in Moscow, where Soviet physicists used the machine from Honey, I Blew Up the Kid to enlarge it (Matisse) one-hundred fold. It dresses up as Santa Claus and gives out toys on a little scooter. Shown here are two rabbits who may or may not be romantically involved. One is waving to Matisse with his five-fingered hand. It seemed like a true-to-life photograph until I saw the carrot growing in the snow, which everyone knows couldn't happen. I have to admit, they almost had me.
