9/20/04, my dorm room: The turkey: how did God come up with such a goofy animal? It's got a gobbler, which looks like a red rubber glove hanging from its neck. That's silly. It also has a little beard of hair on its chin. Plus, turkeys have ridiculous looking bodies. Turkeys are very stupid; if left in the rain, they will face the sky, open their mouths, and drown themselves. The turkey looks like a fallen peacock. Perhaps, without the turkey, we would not be able to see how great the peacock really is. Without the peacock, the turkey might be NBC's mascot. And that would be pretty embarassing. The only truly good thing about the turkey is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the one time of the year, besides all-you-can-eat buffets at restaraunts, when gluttony is accepted as permissable. For this, the turkey deserves our thanks. Or our consumption.

index.html