Edgar Allan Poe

Poe is insane. Just about every one of his stories has someone dying or being murdered alive. Take "The Cask of Amontillado," for example. What an awesome title! Plus, some dude gets "buried alive" by his "best bud"! "The Tell-Tale Heart" is equally crazy. The main character FLIPS OUT when he sees the old man's vulture eye. Then he just beats him up. Then the police get him - just like in "The Black Cat." There's always somebody getting ticked off or freaked out in Poe's works: this is the essence of his coolness. Poe also wrote some love poems, but who cares. He made up the word tintinabulation for his super-poem "The Bells." That's all I have to say about Poe. No, wait - tuberculosis. OK. That's it. "Quoth the raven: 'NEVERMORE.'"

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